Maintaining A Healthy Marriage Naturally

 Hi I don't know why I'm talking about marriage today, well maybe I do.  My pastor has been teaching on marriage for the past month or so and I attended a women's conference last night which covered similar ground.  I've been married to a wonderful man for 15 1/2 years.  Marriage is truly the coming together of 2 people who strive to establish a common ground.  We became a couple in high school and we married after finishing college.  We became each others best friend and over the years we've tried hard to allow each other to maintain that position.  Three children later, we both are private business owners in the therapeutic arena, and we have a life of constant "To Do's" and we're still holding it down.  Don't get me wrong, like with any relationship we've had our days of agreements and our days of disagreements, our days of trying to compromise and our days of compromise.  Our days of bliss and our days of learning to think differently.  I thank God that we put God first, and always maintain our relationship with God as our main inspiration.

On Friday night I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a Women's Conference titled "Extreme Makeover" held at my church, "Living Word Christian Center".  The speaker was Pastor Jennifer Cruz, also Mrs. Illinois 2011.  Her words of wisdom were excellent for the group of women that packed or should I say filled the sanctuary.  She put her crown on her head and did the infamous pageant wave.  She pointed out her photographer in the crowd and asked if her crown was on straight.  She was amazingly poised, beautiful, and stunning.  She then went on to tell the story of how there was a story behind her crown.  She shared her pain and bitterness with her life's situation growing up and then she began to share her victories and how God changed her life during her teenage years from bitterness to guidance and joy after seeing a healthy marriage within her Aunt and Uncle.  She went on to talk about understanding "Love".  The scripture that she shared was Matthew 22:35-39, 37.  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  38.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  39.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  These scriptures speak great words of wisdom.

Pastor Cruz talked about not confusing feelings with love.  Feelings fluctuate, however "Love" should be consistent, unchanging, and not selfish.  You have to make a conscious decision to "Love".  It was such a great message!

I shared her message with my husband and thought about how my husband and I constantly try to maintain a healthy relationship.  The list looks like this:

1.  Pray together.
2.  Plan dates out together without the kids or others.
3.  Plan time with our kids to make sure that they get to have an outing.
4.  Discuss our issues/ concerns with each other, our family, or others who may affect our marriage, whether positively or negatively.
5.  Repeat our concerns/issues if not resolved.
6.  Write out our concerns and find a happy medium.
7.  Seek Godly counsel when necessary.
8.  Show affection and enjoy each other's company.
9.  Seek to meet each other's needs as they change and evolve.
10.  Grab some "me" time.
11.  Encourage each other.
12.  Respect each other.
13.  Share our dreams and aspirations.
14.  Play together.
   

Oh, and I haven't forgotten that this is a natural hair blog :)  In the top photo I'm wearing a braidout that the humidity got a hold of.  In the bottom photo I'm wearing my hair pulled back into a wash and go puff.  I'll just say that my husband has been a great supporter of me wearing my hair naturally and even purchased my domain name after I had talked about starting a blog for years.  Shout out to all the great husbands out there, especially mines!

A lot of studies are showing that the marriage rate is decreasing.
For those that are married, "What are your tips for maintaining a healthy marriage?"  In relation to my natural hair blog, "Does your hubby support you wearing your hair naturally?"  Do Tell!

If you're looking for a great website with tips about marriage check out this great article with tips for wives http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2012/03/16/8-ways-to-be-a-better-wife and hubbies.