My Curls were Razzled!- Children's Tantrums, Need I Say More?

I know that this is a blog about curly hair but sometimes I veer a little.  I'm a mother of three children, 8 year old twins and a 5 year old.  I must say that my curls have been razzled lately by tantrums.  Each one of my children are so different in their own way.  I love each one of them completely, but sometimes parenting requires learning or adapting skills to fit the behavior at hand.  One of my children has been having difficulty excepting the fact that he/she can't have their way 24 hours a day.  Instead of using his/her words to express their feelings he/she has been loudly protesting, kicking things, and throwing things to get the point across that he/she is not a happy camper.  I must say that I was at a point of extreme exhaustion on Friday evening.  I actually fell asleep at 9:00 p.m. and that's not typical for me on a Friday night.  Tantrums, breaking up sibling quarrels, plus work, dinner, and attempting to clean is no laughing matter.  I started researching the best method of dealing with children that are having tantrums to express their anger and came upon a few techniques to use.

1.  Give positive praise for good achievements and for following rules.  For example I told my child I like the way that you took a deep breath and didn't remain upset for a long period of time.  You were able to keep going.  I'm so proud of you.

2.  Give choices rather than make demands.  For example, I asked my child would you like to do some practice work for 30 minutes or 60 minutes? instead of saying you need to work on this for 60 minutes.  To my surprise my child responded 60 minutes.  I gave my child more control of the situation, with the end goal being to get some extra studying and practice time in.

3.  Spend additional time with child alone to give extra attention when there are multiple children in the home.

4.  Give extra rewards for decreasing tantrum behaviors.  I'm so happy that you're learning to talk about how you feel rather than kicking or throwing things.  You can go outside and play for 30 minutes if you like.

5.  Increase outdoor activities to increase ability to get some fresh air (especially in the winter when a lot of activities are indoors).

6.  I can't forget this one because this was the first thing that I did, "Pray".

7.  Parents deserve some time to do things that they enjoy.

8.  Children deserve time to have a little time away from parents if they're with trusted family or friends.

9.  Parents should exercise, which is a great way to minimize stress ( In the winter I don't stick to my regimen the way that I do when it's warm outside, so I need to get moving asap). 

10.  Enroll child in counseling to learn strategies to manage emotions if additional assistance is needed.

11.  Be consistent.

So far so good.  My child hasn't had a major tantrum in a few days.  I hope it continues this way.  The above mentioned strategies are causing improvement in my child's behavior,  I'm praying that it lasts.  My curls are no longer razzled at least not for the past few days.  Now I wonder what does the next stage of development have in store for me and my children.  I thank God for a supportive and involved hubby.  I just wish children came with a manual.  They're all so darn different.  Then again if everyone was the same this would be a boring world.  Here's to tantrum free children and parents with the strength to guide, to love, and to give consistently.  

-Just speaking