How I Dealt With Bullying: October Is National Bullying Awareness Month

Stop Bullying! 

October is National Bullying Awareness Month. In this month, I'm always reminded of the hurt that I felt being bullied as a child.  I was bullied from 5th grade to 7th grade.  When I think back, I can picture my 5th grade self.  I had started wearing the glasses that I was prescribed in 3rd grade on a regular basis in my 5th grade year, because I desperately needed to see the chalkboard.  I was super skinny no matter how much I ate, and I had tight curly hair that my natural haired mom refused to perm ( I later learned to love my curly hair, and appreciate my mom for trying to teach me to not conform to the norms).  My fashion sense wasn't so up to date, because I was born after my siblings were grown, so my parents were older and didn't believe in or care about the latest fashion trends or styles at all ( I really appreciate this now, because I could care less to this day if something is name brand or not, except for if it's a name brand on sale! LOL!).  My nose also outgrew my face and I truly believe that every 5th grader noticed it.  My look and straight "A"'s, quickly landed me the title of "nerd".  Before 5th grade, I was this happy go lucky kid, that was just always cheerful and enjoying my carefree life.  When 5th grade hit, I began to be extremely self conscious, anxious, and fearful of situations like lunch and recess.  When your'e the target of bullying, you tend to lose trust in people and situations.  In fact, I started to expect the bullying, so that I could prepare myself for the name calling.  My regular mantras were "nobody likes me", "I don't fit in", "I'll just be quiet so that no one notices me".

I transformed in 8th grade, due to several reasons.  I remember watching "The Cosby Show" and loving "Denise and Vanessa Huxtables" style.  I began to pick my clothing to match the girls on the Cosby Show's style.  I also remember my 8th grade teacher saying "If you look good, you feel good".  Her name was Ms. Ruth B. Life, and from those words coupled with seeing African Americans on t.v., I began to care more about the way that I put my outfits together.  In addition, I'll never forget looking up and seeing "Oprah Winfrey's" talk show, one day when I was at home sick due to a cold or something.  She talked about how you have to tell yourself good things, and you should feel good about yourself. That was therapeutic and life changing for me.  I also read encouraging scriptures to encourage me as well.  When I started looking and dressing better, I remember the boys started to notice at school.  Next I had a girl whispering that "b----" thinks she's all that.  That was a wake up call for me.

***No matter what you do, whether you look bad, or look your best, do right or do your worst, dress bad or dress your best, there will always be a bully, or hater somewhere.  *** So the best you can do, is just be yourself and do the best that you can do.  Till this day when people make comments like "She thinks she's something" I instantly think, they must think I'm something, and somehow that bothers them.  "I do think I"m something, I think I'm strong, beautiful, an overcomer,  and an achiever of my goals.  Yep!  When people don't feel good about themselves they will negatively shift their imperfections away from themselves and try to put them on you.  Again, that's when I say: I'm strong, beautiful, an overcomer, and an achiever of my goals. *****

Every day, I continue to show up and dress up for every task presented to me and aim to do my very best.  I use my voice to speak, and interact, actually daily in my life as well as on my job as a Speech Language Pathologist.  I help others communicate and use their voice.  Each day, even on the days that I don't feel that my curly hair is right or my clothes have the best fit, I say "You look fine- give the energy that you did your best and go out and keep it moving".  As I remember being teased about my straight "A"'s and a few "B"'s when I was a student, I now happily recall that  those grades helped me to land scholarships that helped me to fund my education for both my Bachelors degree and my Masters degree. I'm grateful for so much!

Today bullying still takes place in schools, now we also have cyber bullying, and people who talk behind your back, or try to convince others that you're not the best, more than likely because they don't feel good about themselves.  Misery loves company.  I aim to maintain positive energy, company, and activities that keep me strong and happy.

If I could go back and talk to my middle school self I would say:  Be encouraged.  This too shall pass.  You will grow to express yourself, and be secure and confident in your own skin.


For any of you that are being bullied in school:

1.  Talk to your parent(s), counselor, and teacher.

2.  Try to remain in close proximity to adults if you think you will be targeted.

3.  Seek to establish an activity and trusted group of friends that you enjoy (join a sport or team).

4.  Every time someone tells you something negative, instantly tell yourself something positive

4.  Tell yourself daily that your are beautiful, loved, and have a place in this world!



Click on the Links Below For Support On Bullying:

What You Can Do To Stop Bullying And Tips For Kids

Resources For Families, Teens, Educators, Clinicians, Mental Health Professionals, And Law Enforcement Personnel (NCTSN)

Pacer's National Prevention Bullying Center